Too Many Hashtags

#whoopsie In November I spent two weeks in Samoa on a clinical placement for an unnamed university, who will remain as such because I’m paranoid that naming it will see me expelled. And I need this fucking degree: one evening, I was chatting to two students—Copper, an ex-detective; and Vag, a fellow enrolled nurse. Copper … Continue reading Too Many Hashtags


Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Forehead

I’m getting dumber as I age, because in my 33rd year on this planet, I decided that it was time to inject poison into my head. Botox. God knows why. It was largely curiosity, which appears to be the driving force behind my every impetuous decision. And you should know that the word ‘largely’ is … Continue reading Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Forehead

A post that is almost about blow-jobs

This. THIS is why I hate feminism.Or feminists.I’m not sure. Maybe both. Maybe I am a misogynist with a vagina. Who knows.Okay, before I begin, I want you to embrace a hypothetical for me. Let’s pretend that this blog is read by more than just three Cambodian perverts and a semi-literate goat in Brazil. We … Continue reading A post that is almost about blow-jobs

The case for Wicked Campers

Paula Orbea is the devil.But, since that is technically slander, I withdraw that remark.Paula Orbea is, for those of you who don’t know, the woman who is campaigning against Wicked Campers, asking them to withdraw their “misogynistic and degrading slogans and imagery.”In other words, Paula Orbea is a radical feminist who is creating a storm … Continue reading The case for Wicked Campers

The Definition of Insanity… doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. An incident recently happened, an incident that culminated in an email that is too hilarious not to post and poke fun of. This is what happens when you sexually reject an egomaniacal, arrogant, narcissistic, delusional depressive with a penchant for the theatrical. I … Continue reading The Definition of Insanity…

All My Single Ladies…

Okay, so I broke. Not Facebook, but I am updating the blog. I can't help myself. I'm writing anyway, may as well edit and share the nonsense. It's quite difficult to stay off Facebook. I have to say I've cheated- a certain amount of Facebook is necessary for travelling, so I send trip related private … Continue reading All My Single Ladies…

Mon Chat Splash

You may hate me by the end of this post. When I don't work out, I tend to get moody. I hate getting grumpy. It's always in the back of my mind that the men around me may be thinking: She must be having her period. Keep away, she's probably irrational. You know they can't … Continue reading Mon Chat Splash