A Post About a Threesome…

Ha! I've busted you, you perverted little sausage. This isn't a story about a threesome at all. I've told a lie in a blatant ploy for attention that stops just shy of 'tawdry' by my omission of the word "lesbian". My salacious title is just pandering to the voyeur in all of us. It's my … Continue reading A Post About a Threesome…

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The Hymen Soliloquies

Four months ago I decided to become celibate. And it's going well. Okay, so 'well' isn't an adjective I'd use to describe my life at the moment, but it's been...interesting. Enlightening. My hymen is about to grow back, I haven't rubbed up against the dread-locked guy on the 438 bus yet, and the sex dreams … Continue reading The Hymen Soliloquies

Stranger than truth

I've swore off internet dating.For the thirteenth time.I wasn't ecstatic at the thought of returning to Plenty of Fish, but a dry fortnight turned into a dry month that turned into dirty dreams about the cute butcher with shoulders like a Frigidaire and, since I was coming dangerously close to dry humping a random stranger, … Continue reading Stranger than truth

Clause 32: Force majeure and cover for acts of idiocy

At first, Paris Cassanova'd me. I was lured from the second I departed the train. Paris is twinkling lights, beautiful architecture, sexy language, gorgeous art...I was in love. Until the Metro Ron Jeremy'd me. Paris trains are impossible. They are overcrowded, expensive, confusing, and complicated. In all of the cities I have been thus far, … Continue reading Clause 32: Force majeure and cover for acts of idiocy

Every Girl needs Guy Friends

I initially submitted this to Women on the Fence, [she grumbles] and I really hope that you like it more than they did [she exclaims feebly]. Having close male friends in your life is a blessing. Males can give you a unique perspective on life and relationships, and they will tell you the five words … Continue reading Every Girl needs Guy Friends

“Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?”

I have been getting back into a band that I used to listen to in my early twenties called Lacuna Coil. For those not familiar with them, I believe “chick metal” may be a pretty apt description. Just picture Evanescence, only awesome, and without the gigantic corporate cock in their mouth. I was bored at … Continue reading “Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?”