Traversing the Tinderverse

The Tinderverse is a bewildering flotsam of social media space junk. The lost and the lewd, the peculiar and the promiscuous- they all hover uncertainly amidst Internet acronyms, unselfconsciously meta profiles, and enthusiastic emoticons. In my mind, Tinder embodies the Mos Eisley cantina from Star Wars: a quagmire of freaks, all killing time in between … Continue reading Traversing the Tinderverse

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Trawling Tinder

I've never had a good experience on Tinder. And yet, like a woman trapped in a co-dependant union, I keep going back. Because Tinder is fucking hilarious. Pockets of humanity lurk on there and trawling Tinder freaks has become a perfectly acceptable way to spend my weekend. He Gives Good Head Take this guy: Check out … Continue reading Trawling Tinder

Fleurgen the Stereo Muppet

Six months ago I bought an $800 car- a dusty red Charade manufactured back when Paul Keating was Prime Minister. I dubiously christened her “Cherry Bomb”. She was bought from a fellow in Darlington. From there, Cherry travelled nine kilometres before having a hot flush and overheating on a busy road, ultimately forcing me to … Continue reading Fleurgen the Stereo Muppet

A post that is almost about blow-jobs

This. THIS is why I hate feminism.Or feminists.I’m not sure. Maybe both. Maybe I am a misogynist with a vagina. Who knows.Okay, before I begin, I want you to embrace a hypothetical for me. Let’s pretend that this blog is read by more than just three Cambodian perverts and a semi-literate goat in Brazil. We … Continue reading A post that is almost about blow-jobs

“I’m the one that’s fucked up?! Just because I’m looking deep into your birth canal for four quarters…”

I've started taking dance classes. A particular type of dance. Which involves a particular type of prop that one may or may not spin around. Every Monday night I join a troupe of twenty other brunettes wearing baggy T-shirts and bashful grins at Beginners Pole Fitness. Now, I don't have daddy issues, I got plenty … Continue reading “I’m the one that’s fucked up?! Just because I’m looking deep into your birth canal for four quarters…”

He’s cute like a frog.

I do a lot of stupid shit when I’m drunk. A few months ago I placed a restriction on myself: it’s fine to get mildly tiddled with friends and make devastatingly clever and funny insights about human nature at achingly hip bars that none of us have any business being in, but it’s not okay … Continue reading He’s cute like a frog.

One Night in Bangkok

I had been in Bangkok for one hour when I was propositioned for a threesome. Do we want to hear this story? Yes? Let me back up and explain. I was looking forward to Bangkok- it felt like a bit of civilisation. Cambodia had given me two solid weeks of cold showers (bearable, except when … Continue reading One Night in Bangkok

This is long. And angry…”CC’s rant about idiots.”

Maybe I have been away for too long, maybe the world is made up of equal amounts of dipshits and cool people. In any event, some travellers in South East Asia are starting to shit me. Especially, for some reason, young American and English tourists. It seems that if you get a privileged white kid, … Continue reading This is long. And angry…”CC’s rant about idiots.”

The most frightening thing a girl will ever do

The lack of full length mirrors in hostel bathrooms is a blessing. You see, while I've been away I have been eating like a traveller- blissfully floating on fluffy clouds of cream and sugar- but this has been interspersed with more walking than Lord of the Rings even the fucking trees walked in that movie. … Continue reading The most frightening thing a girl will ever do

Taking Photos of The Sistine Chapel

Anyone who has been to Vatican City knows that it's forbidden to take photos of the Sistine Chapel. Despite my rants against taking photos of works of art instead of appreciating them, the rebel in me wanted nothing more than to get a picture of the most famous ceiling in the world."Photography forbidden."Damn, I didn't … Continue reading Taking Photos of The Sistine Chapel